The concept of slow dating in India is gaining popularity as more singles move away from swipe culture to focus on emotional connection and compatibility.
In a world driven by instant gratification, from food deliveries to fast swipes on dating apps, an unexpected trend is quietly taking over the romance landscape: slow dating. Unlike the whirlwind matches that vanish as quickly as they appear, slow dating emphasizes emotional connection, meaningful conversation, and intentional courtship.
What once seemed like a relic of the past—taking time to get to know someone—has become a rising cultural shift, especially among urban Indian millennials and Gen Z. With the popularity of fast-paced apps like Tinder and Bumble, the slow dating movement seems almost rebellious. But behind this shift lies a deep yearning: not just for love, but for authenticity.
The Slow Burn of Modern Romance
Slow dating, at its core, encourages singles to go beyond the swipe culture. It’s about prioritizing values, emotional compatibility, and life goals over appearances. Apps like Hinge and OkCupid are riding this wave, with algorithmic designs that reward in-depth profiles and thoughtful prompts over superficial likes.
Sociologist Dr. Meeta Deshmukh, who has studied dating trends in urban India for over a decade, explains, “The pandemic was a turning point. It forced people to introspect. They realized the kind of partner they truly want is someone they can talk to for hours, not just someone who looks good in selfies.”
And the trend isn’t just digital. Offline events like slow dating meetups, literature-based conversations, poetry slams, and storytelling evenings are becoming regular in cities like Mumbai, Bengaluru, and Delhi.
Real-Life Love, One Conversation at a Time
Shivani Mehra and Arjun Khatri, both 34 and based in Gurugram, are the poster couple for India’s slow dating revolution. Shivani, a marketing strategist, met Arjun, an independent filmmaker, through a friend during a virtual book club in 2020.
“We didn’t even exchange numbers for the first two weeks,” Shivani smiles. “We were just commenting on each other’s Goodreads reviews and chatting about existentialism in Murakami novels.”
What started as literary banter turned into phone calls, late-night debates, and eventually, a quiet but memorable proposal at a bookstore. They married in 2023 and recently gave a TEDx talk titled Love, Offline: Rediscovering Connection in a Digital World in Delhi.
Their story was featured in The Indian Express (Feb 2024) as part of a Valentine’s Day special titled Hearts That Waited.
Dating Apps Go Zen
Even the apps are catching up. Hinge, for instance, launched a “Slow Down” feature in India in early 2024, encouraging users to limit their daily likes and instead spend time reading profiles and engaging deeply.
A Bengaluru-based startup, Kindling, has made waves with its invite-only slow dating app that connects users over shared passions—art, nature, sustainability, literature—with a mandatory “no ghosting” policy. The founder, Pranav Jaiswal, was awarded the ET Startup Disruptor Award 2024 for “Innovative Use of Technology in Emotional Wellness”.
He told The Times of India, “We’re not just helping people date—we’re helping them become better listeners, better communicators, and ultimately, better humans.”
The Bollywood Effect: When Celebs Slow Down
Slow dating has even found its way into Bollywood. Actress Radhika Apte, known for her offbeat roles and private lifestyle, recently spoke about her decade-long relationship with musician Benedict Taylor. “We didn’t even live in the same country for the first few years. That space, that distance—it made us talk more, not less,” she said in an interview with Film Companion.
Similarly, singer Armaan Malik in a candid conversation with Hindustan Times in late 2023, opened up about his long-distance slow courtship with his now fiancée, which involved months of voice notes, shared playlists, and old-school letter writing. “It wasn’t about ‘Are we dating?’ It was about: ‘Are we becoming each other’s peace?’”
Why the Shift Matters
According to a 2024 survey by Shaadi.com, 61% of Indian millennials now prioritize “emotional intelligence and depth” over physical attraction when choosing a partner. The rise of therapy culture, mindfulness, and mental wellness has contributed to a generation unafraid to seek stability and self-awareness in relationships.
Mumbai-based relationship therapist Dr. Isha Sawhney observes, “For years, we normalized the idea that love must be fast, spontaneous, and dramatic. But drama isn’t always sustainable. Slow dating teaches emotional maturity—it’s the equivalent of switching from junk food to a home-cooked meal.”
From Trend to Transformation
The rise of slow dating isn’t just a backlash to hookup culture; it’s a redefining of what it means to fall in love. It’s about taking time to grow into a relationship, instead of rushing into one.
In 2025, love letters are trending again, couples are planning second dates over pottery workshops, and long conversations are reclaiming their place in the dating journey.
As Gen Z influencer Ananya Thakur, known for her popular YouTube series Not Another Love Guru, put it during an episode filmed in Jaipur: “It’s cool now to say, ‘I’m not rushing. I’m just… feeling it out.’ And honestly? That’s the most romantic thing I’ve heard in a while.”
Final Thoughts
In an era of immediacy, the rise of slow dating feels almost radical. But perhaps that’s why it works. It’s a reminder that love, like all good things, takes time.
So the next time you’re tempted to swipe fast, remember the wise words scribbled on a wall in Delhi’s Hauz Khas Village: “Fast is fine, but slow is soulful.”
